Is it what you do when you're all alone and can do whatever you want that defines you? 2003

[This post is a reaction to Kristin's wistful comments at the end of SXSW]
I have similar feelings at SXSW too. It's the height of my feeling connected to this great community of people and also when I feel most alone and foolish. I guess that's because I like the people so much I worry more about them liking me, maybe? Anyhow, I am sorry I missed the fun this year, but it was good to stay home. I was a very different Dinah than I expected to be this last week and I'm still sorting that out - not web geek project grrrl or walk all over the city woman, but reading sleeping daydreaming movie watching mostly by myself Dinah. Reminds me of who I was as a teen; an only child sitting up in her room listening to music and gazing out windows. Perfectly happy except for that nagging sensation that I was somehow supposed to be doing something different.

Now it's the last day of my vacation (*sigh*) and a beautiful afternoon. I'm watching clouds go by and listening to music. Dreamy and indolent. That voice in my head says I should seize these hours and run around and DO SOMETHING, but I think it's full of it. Tomorrow I will be back at work in the middle of the usual frenzy, putting out whatever the fire du jour is. Time enough for hustle then. Now the sun is shining, the trees are blowing in the wind and I don't have to do a thing...

Comments

Is it what you do when you're all alone and can do whatever you want that defines you?

[This post is a reaction to Kristin's wistful comments at the end of SXSW]
I have similar feelings at SXSW too. It's the height of my feeling connected to this great community of people and also when I feel most alone and foolish. I guess that's because I like the people so much I worry more about them liking me, maybe? Anyhow, I am sorry I missed the fun this year, but it was good to stay home. I was a very different Dinah than I expected to be this last week and I'm still sorting that out - not web geek project grrrl or walk all over the city woman, but reading sleeping daydreaming movie watching mostly by myself Dinah. Reminds me of who I was as a teen; an only child sitting up in her room listening to music and gazing out windows. Perfectly happy except for that nagging sensation that I was somehow supposed to be doing something different.

Now it's the last day of my vacation (*sigh*) and a beautiful afternoon. I'm watching clouds go by and listening to music. Dreamy and indolent. That voice in my head says I should seize these hours and run around and DO SOMETHING, but I think it's full of it. Tomorrow I will be back at work in the middle of the usual frenzy, putting out whatever the fire du jour is. Time enough for hustle then. Now the sun is shining, the trees are blowing in the wind and I don't have to do a thing...

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