Joe-jobbed again 2004

My email has been a bit worse than usual this week, and "usual" had already gotten pretty bad. Because I've been using this domain name for so long now, several addresses on it have made the spammers' lists including, unfortunately, my first name. This means I now get about 30-40 pieces of junk mail for each real piece of mail. The spammer's subject lines are growing more deceptive as well, so if you aren't in my address book and you sent a message I never responded to, chances are it got lost in the noise. Try again with a more distinctive subject line than "Hi".

It's been especially bad this week, though, because junk mail was sent out as though it was from one of my addresses and so I get all the bounced email messages. Spammers really are lower than pond scum. I wonder if there are some solid legal grounds on which I could sue them? They are misrepresenting me and using my personal information without permission. They are certainly wasting my time and resources. If any of the messages are for something of dubious legality, there might even be grounds for libel.

Short of legal action, alas, all I can do is hope they acquire a mysterious debilitating disease that causes their genitalia to turn puce and fall off.

[posted at lunchtime because I got busy the moment I walked in the door at work this morning and forgot to proof the post I wrote coming across the bridge on the bus]

Dear Chickenshit... 2004

To the person who knocked over Chris' motorcycle last night and didn't leave a note or insurance info:

Regret to inform that you are not mature enough to own or operate a motor vehicle. Please turn in license and keys to any police officer.

Known Spammer IP Addresses 2003

Since I've been getting so much comment spam lately, I thought it would be useful to provide the list of IP addresses which I have banned from commenting on my site. If your software allows you to ban them as well, I encourage you to do so:

203.164.92.12 comment spam 2003.12.23
203.164.91.247 Comment spam 2003.12.23
203.164.92.141 comment spam 2003.12.23
217.117.64.2 comment spam 2003.12.23
203.164.91.94 comment spam 2003.12.22
203.164.92.195 comment spam 2003.12.20
203.164.91.57 comment spam 2003.12.19
213.25.247.29 comment spammer 2003.12.17
211.29.136.12 comment spam 2003.12.15
217.5.200.252 comment spammer 2003.12.10
61.181.5.36 comment spammer 2003.12.06
61.181.5.98 comment spammer 2003.12.05
66.217.121.25 comment spam 2003.11.30
61.181.5.5 comment spam 2003.11.16
65.124.222.39 comment spam 2003.11.13
64.72.132.17 comment spammer 2003.11.12
217.26.240.61 comment spam 2003.11.07
217.26.240.61 Suspected comment spammer. Just didn't sound real or useful. 2003.11.07
156.63.242.5 Comment spam 2003.11.06
61.181.5.49 comment spam 2003.11.01
61.181.5.84 comment spammer 2003.10.03
212.179.192.76 spam comment 2003.09.28
61.181.5.80 blogspammer 2003.08.20

And I'm pretty sure these guys were comment spammers too, I just noted the post date rather than the reason for the ban. I don't recall ever banning anyone for any other reason, so you should be safe locking the door against them as well:
209.246.74.116 2003.04.07 2003.08.09
64.91.204.171 2003.02.16 2003.08.09
213.48.162.141 2003.02.09 2003.08.09
64.122.16.3 2002.11.07 2003.08.09
80.78.137.37 2002.05.31 2003.08.09
209.178.190.188 2003.07.05 2003.08.09
200.154.18.142 2003.05.17 2003.08.09

Someone poke the eye in the sky, please 2003

We live a couple blocks from Castro & Market. Yes, we heard the DJ'd music, but it wasn't that loud inside our place especially once we put on some mellow guitar music. Yes, we can hear occasional whooping and cheering. But really, what's the most annoying and loud thing tonight? The frickin' helicopters. SFPD doesn't have any - they use the CHP when they need them - so I'm betting based on that and the number of TV news trucks I saw down the street when I was walking home that those are news copters. Give it a frickin' rest.

TV news is basically crap anyhow. The only good one is the Daily Show and, as much as I love it, it still isn't enough to make me want a television again.

Hot 2003

Too hot to move around. Too hot to answer email. Too hot.

Uh, Mail? Maybe. 2003

I just checked my personal mail by logging into the server from work and using the quaint old Pine mail program. Instead of the 300 pieces of spam I would usually see, I had only 68 messages. Odd.

Dating from May 30th to June 1st. Curiouser & curiouser.

We'll see if they've got it fixed by the time I get home, but if you write to me and I don't respond, don't assume I've gotten it.

A Dentist A Day Keeps The Weblog Away 2003

I tell ya, spending two days out of your week with half your face numb (Tuesday: right side; Thursday: left side), just doesn't leave you composing brilliant works of prose and doing wild creative things in the evening.

Another appointment in a month. Gah.

So, kids, don't forget to brush and floss and use your WaterPik (or whatever equivalent technology works best for your particular mouth condition)! Remember: put up with a little hassle every morning and evening or suffer a lot every six months!

Post Dentist 2003

Why should having half my face numb make it hard to do anything even if it doesn't involve my face?

Wig In A Box 2003

Some times it takes singing drag queens to get me through the work day.

I Hate Sports 2003

I tried to leave work at 6:15pm today. 25 minutes later I managed to get back from a few blocks away and get back to work. The traffic was so bad I could not face the prospect of the commute across the bridge.

Apparently there's some kind of football game or something and everyone had to go. In their cars. Separately.

I truly hate sporting events.

I am really looking forward to returning this car to my folks and getting back on public transit. If I had the parking permit for my neighborhood, I'd just leave it at home during the day, but I don't so I drive. Under the best circumstances driving a car takes 15 or 20 minutes less, which seems like a big deal in a 55 minute commute, but if those 55 minutes are generally calm and involving reading or playing games on my PDA and the ones in the car are incredibly stressful and irritating, which would you prefer?

Words I Hate 2003

Blogosphere

No Talent Assclown 2003

How bad have I gotten at fulfilling my social obligations? Really bad. Really really bad.

Tonight I was going to attend a party in the south bay attended by many fine folks I went to library school with and hosted by the ever-lovely Matthew & Hava. Folks I haven't seen in way too long. Yes, library school, where they teach you about maintaining information.

I went to the wrong address 3 hours late. And I rented a car to do it.

Dork.

Fortunately, we had a nice time before realizing the depth of my dorkiness doing a bit of shopping and lounging around in the park area at Santana Row, the swanky new residential/shopping area in San Jose near Winchester Mystery House. If the Redevelopment Agency had built something like this (only with businesses a little more suited to the average income level of folks in downtown SJ) instead of that lame shopping mall on First Street (which the Fairmont doesn't even list on their shopping page even though it's directly across the street), that area might have actually done well over the last decade.

Separated at birth 2003

Hamas spiritual leader Shiek Ahmed Yassin bears a startling resemblance to Saruman the White as portrayed by Christopher Lee. It may have been noted before, but the picture in yesterday's San Jose Mercury News (page 15A in the final edition) almost looks retouched the likeness is so strong.

Ikea Redeemed 2003

I should mention that after all my frustrations with Ikea regarding getting replacements for some lost instructions and nuts & bolts, when I tried again to go back and get them before giving up and throwing away a perfectly good, albeit disassembled, bookcase, they were quite helpful. I got the instructions and a complete set of the assembly parts and they waived the usual charge because I had been misinformed on my previous visit.

An Observation of Strange Human Behavior 2003

When someone has posted something inappropriate to a list and one is replying to tell them that said confidential information shouldn't be posted to the list, perhaps one should not quote the offending message.

Further, when apologizing for said post, perhaps one should not quote it again in one's message.

I hate spammers 2003

I receive an average of over 200 pieces of spam a day.

I will go through my junk folder this one last time to see if it mis-identified anything; after that, if I don't respond to your email, try again - it takes too much time not to trust my filters.

***

Odd subject line noticed during this process: "Enjoy your riser"
Sure, it's probably penis-related, but I think "Enjoy a portion of your stairs?"

***

4000+ messages later:
Nothing mis-identified. Now (after a couple months training it) anything Mail thinks is junk can be safely trashed automatically.

The Vision Thing 2003

I've worn glasses for years now, but my vision isn't so bad that I can't function without them. In fact, on a slightly groggy morning I am capable of getting part of the way to work before noticing that I am not wearing my glasses.

*blinky blinky*

Gonna be an interesting day...

*though not as groggy as it would have been if I'd had to move furniture at midnight instead of handing it off to a neighbor of the friend I was picking it up from at 5:30pm

Bite me, Sportbrain 2003

In the height of stupid dot-com wackiness, a company marketed a pedometer that could sync with a website and let you see not just how far you walked, but when and how intensely. You could graph it over time and it was a kind of cool tool, especially since you could share some of the data with a group of virtual exercise partners to keep you motivated.

However, the device could only talk to their website and thus, when they went belly-up, it became a useless lump of plastic. So I held onto it for a while and then realized a) it was unlikely it would ever be useful again and b) even if it was, I probably wouldn't use it. So I tossed it when I moved to San Francisco.

Suprisingly enough, Sportbrain appears to have risen from the grave and, in a new twist on flesh-eating zombie-dom, started sending piles of mail to all their old customers. Here's what I say to them

Guys,

Your company coughed up blood and I threw away the stupid device I should never have bought anyhow. Thanks, though, for the lesson that single
function hardware that doesn't use open standards is a BAD investment.

Please take me off your list now that you're proving your business
viability by spamming anyone who's ever given you the time of day.

Thanks.

Dinah

Increase Tentacle Length 3"!!! 2003

*sigh*
I hate that Lovecraftian spam.

New mail! From Подключение re ВНИМАНИЕ!!! ОФИЦИАЛЬНОЕ ПОДКЛЮЧЕНИЕ ПО ТАРИФНЫМ

Closer to a homelike home 2003

Step 1: internet connection finally works.

Step 2: computer can be located somewhere other than the kitchen counter.

Still workin' on #2...

Rather a surprise 2002

After a lovely dinner last week with my parents at a great little Burmese restaurant (Burma House on ?Post?), I received the following fortune cookie fortune which came as a bit of a shock:

You and your wife will be happy in your life together

[By the way, yes, still sick. Now drinking pot after pot of herbal tea. New symptom added to feebleness, aching and fatigue: runny nose. Bleah.]

Upgrade 2002

My disability insurance company, Unum Provident, used to think I lived on Gross Street.

I corrected them. I said "It's not great, but it's not that bad."

Now they say I live on Groove Street.

I'll take this as a reflection of the ways in which my whole life keeps getting better.

Damned Computers 2002

I'm really getting ticked off. All I want to do is invite lots of people to Edmond's welcome home parties. This has enough challenges of its own because I need to figure out who should get invited and find email addresses for his friends.

Problem #1: Evite doesn't seem to work very well in IE for Mac on OS X. I spent 2 hours last night pounding on it, trying unsuccessfully to get it to allow me to use a different image on the invite than the default and semi-successfully to add multiple recipients. It was completely inconsistent in its behavior and I managed to lose all the addresses it had accepted so far. So I gave up on that.

Problem #2: Evite doesn't work any better on Edmond's PC.

Problem #3: Edmond's computer has suddenly decided it won't retrieve or send mail due to some nasty new error in something called pcproxy.exe. So I need to look at his address book on his computer and then type them in on my Mac. I don't want to try to fix it - it's probably just because Microsoft operating systems are fucking dairy products and it hasn't had an engineer fussing over it for five months. [Update: it will send, it just won't receive. Some improvement anyhow...I'll take it.]

Problem #4: My damned neighbors keep treating the street like their living room and they talk louder than the loud family on that old Saturday Night Live sketch (not to be confused with the band or the publically documented real live family whose last name happened to be Loud).

Problem #5: I'm cranky.

Addition:
Problem #6 [identified by Chris]: Evite is goat-flavored.

Energy Vampire Technology 2002

Gah. I hate computers sometimes. My work computer went wonky now and I lost most of yesterday and today to trying to get my environment working again. So frustrating & draining! Argh!

I was kind of sleepy this morning because I got a wrong number at 1:30am, but during my commute I still managed to cheerlead myself into a somewhat enthusiastic frame of mind to work on leading the launch of my company's new monitoring & management service (the service is cool, it's the sales & marketing work that I find less than inspiring). Unfortunately, my energy & ideas were lost in a scummy froth of Windows error messages, fruitless searches for device drivers and soul-sapping install processes.

My boss is going to bail me out with a newly configured laptop (handy for my telecommuting) but it didn't want to talk to the network, so he had to pull it back for further tinkering. And now he's in a presentation with potential customers. Successful, I hope.

I wish I had the money for a sabbatical; I'm just wiped out.

Idiocy 2002

It's really astounding to observe the complete and total breakdown of any semblance of customer service at Verisign. I mean, I knew they were a pain in the ass to deal with, but this is ridiculous. It is, as Cory said, time to put VeriSign to death; untrustworthiness is completely unacceptable in a company in the certification business.

I've now pulled all my domains from their feeble, greasy grip and encourage you to take your business elsewhere.