MmHm. Monday. 2003

Some days your brain works.
Some days it doesn't.

Not my most productive day ever.

Thank goodness for mindless tasks that (sort of) need to get done.

One step forward, two steps back 2003

I took yesterday off to relax with Chris and celebrate being together for a year. It was good and I felt this morning like I'd had a weekend.

Unfortunately, unlike the day after a weekend, I had a massive amount of email to work through. It's noon and far from getting to the things I'd hoped to work on today, I'm still only partway through responding to all the stuff brought up in this chunk of mail.

The most comically frustrating sentence from my inbox?
"Do you have an assistant or can you suggest someone else whom I can plague?"
Alas, no and no.

Boy, I wish I was those white dreadlocked phase-shifting razor-wielding twins from Matrix:Reloaded. I'd get so much done. And I'd look lovely doing it.

Tired. So very tired. 2003

Friday through yesterday I was at my first visit to the annual users group conference for the company I joined last August. 1100 customers. Down in San Jose, so no flight this time, thank goodness. Stayed at the Fairmont, so the hotel was nice. Gave 5 presentations, attended at least half a dozen others, lunches and evening receptions with customers, getting stopped in the hall almost constantly with product questions. Very fun. Very hard (except the actual presenting which I love doing). Very exhausting.

Got home around 7:30pm last night. Stayed up reading email and some message lists that make me laugh. Visiting with Chris. Getting the lowdown on our new digital studio device for the electric guitar.

Today I slept until noon. Still sitting around in my bathrobe. Can't seem to muster the energy to do anything. Hoping I'll have enough energy to get through 3 workdays and take care of at least some of the piles of things that need to be done.

Tired. Very tired. But I like my job.

Role Rage 2003

Why is it when I have strategic tasks on my list, the tactical chores that rear their ugly little heads enrage me so?

Mess With Texas 2003

This week I have to give a 45 minute presentation to some librarians in Texas.
This will require spending 50 hours traveling, staying in a hotel, wandering around until it's time to present, staying in the hotel some more and then more traveling.
The convention is in Houston.
The humidity in Houston is 93 degrees.
And it's Houston.

Upon my return I will need to work for 3 or 4 hours, after which I will return to my wonderfully freaky neighborhood where I will spend the evening with men in dresses and lots of makeup who will restore my faith in humanity.

All I can say is it's a damn good thing I'm coming home on Bingo night.

Sense of Scale 2003

It is very unpleasant to find after six months in your new job, that you now know enough to realize there is more to the job than can be done by any two people and that your products are an order of magnitude more complex than your previous mental model allowed for.

Very unpleasant indeed.

Argh. 2002

I am having a heck of a time recovering from being out of the office for most of a week. My desk is almost completely covered in papers each representing something I should be doing. Very daunting and exhausting.

My circumstances are not helped by having had 3 successive mild nightmares wake me up in the early morning which has left me groggy all day from sleep disruption.

I need an extra two days in between today and tomorrow so I can sleep in and still get a grip on things. I hate having 200+ messages in my inbox! Bleah.

On the bright side, I will get to play with the Sims Online beta test tonight.

Oh well, I guess I'll see how much I can get done in two and a half hours.

Work Juice 2002

Sometimes it's good to work late. Sometimes you just get into it and start slapping that to-do list down and it's all flowing. The headphones are on and the White Stripes "Fell In Love With A Girl" is followed by the Violent Femmes "Add It Up" and you've got the joy and a job well done.

It's a good night here. :)

Quick! Is there a librarian in the house? 2002

Don't panic. I'm a librarian. Now what seems to be the problem?

I was just having a nice light dinner at my new neighborhood sushi restaurant, Midori Mushi, when they mentioned they were about to serve a private party upstairs in their special room. The problem was they thought some of the guests might want kosher meals and they didn't know what the rules were for that.

I finished my delicious miso soup, inari and negihama, and walked the half block home. A moment with Google and I had their answer, not just for tonight's kosher guests, but any future cultural challenges.

Yes, just a simple evening's work for your friendly neighborhood librarian...

(Midori Mushi is located on Grove Street near Gough in San Francisco, they are open for lunch & dinner, closed Mondays and are cash only at present).

Fine, but Brain is Full 2002

Hi. I'm fine. Great actually, but I come home from work and my brain is so full from trying to cram all the things I need to know about my wonderful new job in there that I don't do anything but eat, find clothes for the next day and maybe get one or two things done. Given that dishes, laundry, vacuuming and sleep are cued up ahead of writing interesting things in my weblog, I guess I'm gonna stay boring for a little while.

I got it! 2002

I got the new job! Woohoo! I'll start right after my trip to lovely Minneapolis. Frankly, from what I hear about that place in July, the shock of suddenly working 40 hours a week again, plus the commute, will be mild after coping with heat, humidity and mosquitos.

Not the job for me 2002

In the absence of steady project work with my old company, I'm on unemployment now (under the Lack of Work clause) and doing that little bureaucratic dance. Ugh. I can't wait to get a job again and get away from these horrid forms. This is sucky.

Bumpy Road 2002

Well, I finally reached my limit. My otherwise excellent company has no active projects for me and therefore no way to pay me. I already have way too much debt and so must seek work elsewhere.

If you know anyone looking for an experienced project manager with strong user experience design skills, please email me at this domain. I'd prefer to work in San Francisco or somewhere within an easy walk or shuttle ride of the CalTrain or BART.

To round out the general suckiness of the first day of job hunting, I also experienced my first kernel panic on a Mac. Kind of nifty looking actually, but not inclined to lower my stress levels. *sigh*

----

Oh. And should I apply for unemployment benefits? Does anyone have any recent experience with this in California? Argh, what a mess...

Those Wacky Swedes 2002

My charming co-workers, Niklas & Emin, have decided it would be a good idea to replace all occurances of "Cut & Paste" in our software with "Yank & Put". The discussion of this comment and of the streetcorner porn rag Yank has reduced me to tears of laughter.

Now I remember why I visit the office.

Ch-ch-ch-changes... 2002

My big news this week is that I've decided to seek full-time work away from SoftDevices. As much as I love the people and respect the technology, I can no longer afford to wait for the economy to pick up and provide more projects to keep me busy and, more importantly, I want to do work that reflects my personal beliefs. I want to put my work time towards making the world a better place, not just a more profitable place for some corporation.

This was a really hard decision to come to - I've actually been considering it for over three months - but it's time for me to move on. They don't want me to leave, which is gratifying, but I need to put my primary focus elsewhere. I'm not looking forward to the transition, but it is the right thing to do.

Moving sucks, even when you're carrying mental baggage instead of physical.

On the bright side, using compensation from a special project I'm doing, I bought a new computer and have eliminated a major source of stress in my life. After trying to make do with my old PC in the absence of resident sysadmin help and failing to upgrade to OS X the old beefed-up Mac which Mike graciously offered me, I decided to go with a new computer with a service plan. In addition I stacked the deck in my favor by choosing the best combination of system reliability (Unix) and user friendliness (Apple GUI); I am the proud owner of a shiny new G4 iMac with a combo drive. Yes, the one that looks like a lamp. O boy o boy do I love it! No screen flicker, everything just works, it's dreamy!

Soothing my nerves further, I relaxed over the past few days with Patrick. He is easy to be around. We ate sublime pizza from Zachary's and watched Mulholland Drive. I enjoyed the movie very much and even more the theorizing afterwards about what the heck David Lynch was getting at this time. We also saw Spiderman and it was still good on my second viewing. Wonderful to see a film with a strong script and skilled actors! I do recommend it.

Tomorrow I have much to do - a trip to the post office and to stash some things in the storage unit and a conversation with my boss about my leaving SoftDevices (nervous about that one since I know I'll be disappointing him by staying firm on my getting full-time work elsewhere) - but right now I just want to relax a little. I've got Moby's Play on the stereo and am debating between a bath, a nap and a game...

Today for you, tomorrow for me 2002

I was just sitting here thinking "I didn't accomplish much today" and then realized I did a lot, but it was mostly for Edmond. That's not necessarily bad - he is paying me a small stipend for all this resupply work - but I'm glad I've now got enough done to take a few days off to be selfish.

I slept until noon - a prophylactic measure to stave of the handsome man with the good kisses' cold - and felt great when I got up. Edmond had called at about 9:15 - already in Warner Springs! - so I made a post to his site then checked email (via telnet, *sigh*) and found he'd gotten his pocketmail program working and had more messages for me to post, did that, picked up a surprise snack (Space Food Sticks!) package which had apparently come while I was in the shower or the bell hadn't worked, mailed the next supply box, tried to find a luggage cart (for carrying these supply boxes to the post office) but was unsuccessful (better try a luggage store next), bought a few groceries & resupply items, proofed the next resupply box and (argh!) spilled my glass of water into my keyboard, so took it apart to dry and be cleaned while I'm at it. *whew* Not bad for 10 hours, really.

Oh jeez, AND I was finally able to connect to nervousness.org and bail out of about 10 art projects. This computer stuff is eating up time I could spend on fun silly stuff (forgot to mention looking for a monitor cable for the Mac, unsuccessfully, and buying blank CD-Rs for backup today as well). I felt bad about pulling out of something I said I'd do, but I didn't do it for ones where I'm next in line and it does ease the pressure a lot.

Talked to a couple people at Rainbow and it sounds like they don't have rapid job turnover, but since I signed up for a lot of departments I should have some chance of being considered in the next couple months. Gotta find some other work in the meantime, though, being this broke sucks.

Changing Priorities 2002

I've reduced my hours at SoftDevices to just one day a week, plus a few hours here & there as needed. I love the people, but the work has changed a little (more configuration of an existing solution, less creation of a new solution) and, more than that, I've changed.

My grandfather's death really made me take some time to think about what is important to me. Bob was a man who really lived by his principles. He was good to the people around him, made people laugh and think, and inspired his passion for learning and exploring in those around him. He defended our right to free speech. He thought globally before that became fashionable. I'm not saying he didn't live a fairly normal American lifestyle, but he raised my mother in a way that let her respect herself and follow her dreams and strengthened her to provide an environment for me to grow up with the same strong sense of self and love of learning and the world.

Business is a little slow right now, so that's part of the reason I reduced my hours, but more than that, I wanted time to think and explore some possibilities. One realization I've come to is that I want to live in better accordance with my principles and I am willing to get by on significantly less money to do so. I will miss working full-time with the wonderful people at SoftDevices, but these reduced hours will let me do work, both paid & volunteer, which truly feeds my soul.

After a lot of thought about where I want to work (entreprenuerial projects with friends, Tides Foundation or a similar non-profit, returning to bookstores or publishing...), I was walking through my new grocery store, Rainbow, smiling and chatting with staff & other shoppers and realized I'd love to work there. I do miss the public contact in retail. I did a bit of research about Rainbow's workers cooperative and spoke with an employee (Hi Pete!) when we bumped into each other at the Billy Nayer Show Wednesday night. Today I filled out my application and thought I'd share a couple answers with you:

Why do you want to work at Rainbow?
I am tired of working for companies whose primary raison d'etre is to help make corporations make more money. I want to make my work a natural outflow of my beliefs - eco-friendly, pro-creativity, pro-kindness, pro-freak - and I want to create a feedback mechanism where my positive energy flows through my work to the community and back. I want to feel more connected to simple, natural, shared things like eating, growing food, making good stuff, sharing ourselves, and smiling. I'd rather help someone sit down to a good meal than help them sell a computer.

What are your future goals?
- to create more of what I use (both food and things)
- to participate in communities more (San Francisco, global connectedness in general, online creativity sharing in general)
- to have nothing in my home which is not beautiful or useful or both
- to, as the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence say, spread universal joy and expiate stigmatic guilt
- to walk the city of San Francisco, every street, every block

I'll let you know how it turns out and I'll see you in the bulk aisle. ;)

I Want Busy 2001

Jeffrey says "When you work, the front of your mind pays attention to the problems you’re solving, which relieves the rest of your mind from focusing on the problems you can’t solve. And that’s why God gave us work." Lay those projects on me, boss; I've clearly got too much time to think.

CNN has it right. 2000

CNN has it right. Librarianship is a good career opportunity.

Man, I wish I had more arms. That'd be great. 8 is a bit much, but 4 would be lovely. Very convenient.

"What is it you do, dear?" 1999

Here's the answer for system administrators. (Thanks for the link, Joe!)

Work is not making me as stressful these days. 1999

I've taken to using the Web to dispel tension. When I find my head in a non-productive loop, I take a couple minutes and visit favorite weblogs (PyrAlert, Evhead, Megnut, Onfocus, Peterme, Justin!) or check email. There is something really satisfying about clearing out the piles of stuff in your emailbox to give you a sensation of lightening your load. Illusory perhaps, but it is as if each of those undeleted messages is a string going to your head and it feels so delightful to cut some of them. I find my blog is a good way to deal with things that I don't yet want to delete; by sharing the link, mentioning the thing I want to read but haven't yet, or voicing an idea, I can transfer that pending item into a place where I can find it again if I need to and then delete the mail. Ahhhh. So relaxing.

Probably won't get to do this again for a while... 1999

Aw heck. I finished everything on my list but the thing that's too big to finish. I'm leaving the office early! Ha!

Grrr. No bliss. 1999

Edmond & I spent our Saturday doing chores. Productive, but not nearly so much fun as I'd been hoping for all week. Weekends where you do a bunch of work aren't really proper weekends.
I'm still grading papers & final projects for my class and, frankly, I'm rather tired of it. Edmond keeps pushing the "throw them down the stairs and then the ones on the top step get an A, the ones on the next step get a B, etc." method, but I'm trying to be less impartial.

Living the stereotype 1999

This is so Silicon Valley. It's Friday night at 8pm and I'm just leaving the office. Oh, no wait. I'm leaving after I send this fax. Then I'm leaving. Really.

That wonderful lounge 1999

I'm at Web99, hanging out in the online lounge. Very cool space. I've never coded from a beanbag chair before. Not exactly ergonomic, but fun.

The main part of the day was devoted to coordinating things in the volunteer office. Nice bunch of people. So far this is shaping up to be a pretty excellent convention. I'm looking forward to the sessions I'll be attending.

I expect to spend a large proportion of my time "networking" in an effort to get my card and my resume under the right nose. I'm looking for a contract position doing web project management and/or user experience/interface design. I'm now working through SoftDevices International, a web-enabled process management software company which also provides services such as web site development and process modeling. This is an exciting change for me because I'm ready to start pushing my career forward and the whole gray area of translating undefined user needs into powerful webtools is exactly the territory I want to head for.

Well, enough of this beanbag action, I'm heading out into the wide world before my back starts to complain too much.